i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
