Don't you send me to vm
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
