But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
