I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
