Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
pray to the hookup gods
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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