small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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