wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
