We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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