Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
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Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
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I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation