Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits

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  (707): I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits http://tfl.nu/21ol
  Replies (24) Good night (1977) Bad night (1157)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.

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  (732): I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa. http://tfl.nu/0g11
  Replies (12) Good night (725) Bad night (3955)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room

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  (254): you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room http://tfl.nu/st2q
  Replies (46) Good night (4967) Bad night (1374)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.

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  (724): I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes. http://tfl.nu/hea3
  Replies (18) Good night (1078) Bad night (4184)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard

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  (203): whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard http://tfl.nu/amtb
  Replies (28) Good night (852) Bad night (4016)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.

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  (540): Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed. http://tfl.nu/420i
  Replies (19) Good night (1607) Bad night (3998)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.

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  (732): It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown. http://tfl.nu/wms3
  Replies (6) Good night (5538) Bad night (1045)
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  (559): View more from California

  Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.

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  (559): Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face. http://tfl.nu/m55d
  Replies (14) Good night (3258) Bad night (1626)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?

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  (360): Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot? http://tfl.nu/quvh
  Replies (22) Good night (995) Bad night (3086)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  I told you I'd buy you lunch.

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  (239): I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail. (1-239): I told you I'd buy you lunch. http://tfl.nu/jsln
  Replies (8) Good night (1107) Bad night (1895)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  I don't see the problem

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  (807): My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive. (1-807): I don't see the problem http://tfl.nu/s96d
  Replies (5) Good night (1742) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"

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  (916): you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances" http://tfl.nu/1xse
  Replies (2) Good night (1192) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.

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  (317): You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves. http://tfl.nu/nrql
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party

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  (775): He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party http://tfl.nu/btv9
  Replies (8) Good night (642) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place

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  (714): So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place http://tfl.nu/9hat
  Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (337)

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