Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.

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  (410): He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go. http://tfl.nu/s9bl
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (1504)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.

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  (414): I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex. http://tfl.nu/ut6h
  Replies (6) Good night (3515) Bad night (653)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

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  (402): i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty http://tfl.nu/i6m7
  Replies (95) Good night (3144) Bad night (1031)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

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  (918): Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out.... http://tfl.nu/hiy4
  Replies (14) Good night (4064) Bad night (650)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life

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  (860): I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life http://tfl.nu/l4zk
  Replies (37) Good night (6085) Bad night (1275)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"

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  (713): He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality" http://tfl.nu/r05f
  Replies (10) Good night (3329) Bad night (1179)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa

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  (972): honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa http://tfl.nu/ld2g
  Replies (7) Good night (1468) Bad night (1020)
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  (510): View more from California

  in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.

  (925): View more from California

  he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!

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  (510): in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water. (925): he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy! http://tfl.nu/d51r
  Replies (5) Good night (933) Bad night (1605)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.

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  (205): No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s. http://tfl.nu/msmd
  Replies (2) Good night (1321) Bad night (553)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.

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  (417): Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently. http://tfl.nu/jfkc
  Replies (11) Good night (2270) Bad night (543)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  he is risen halelujah

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  (303): nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ (1-303): he is risen halelujah http://tfl.nu/sbcr
  Replies (6) Good night (1438) Bad night (575)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?

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  (724): Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin? http://tfl.nu/jzs7
  Replies (9) Good night (1192) Bad night (564)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.

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  (206): That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days. http://tfl.nu/co8c
  Replies (4) Good night (800) Bad night (209)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though

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  (314): I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though http://tfl.nu/f0gi
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (197)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.

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  (647): The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud. http://tfl.nu/bog9
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (237)

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