Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

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  (313): I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair http://tfl.nu/9zqr
  Replies (1) Good night (1960) Bad night (1183)
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  (607): View more from New York

  went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever

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  (607): went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever http://tfl.nu/r7ss
  Replies (6) Good night (3651) Bad night (519)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?

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  (541): Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works? http://tfl.nu/8nc6
  Replies (26) Good night (1102) Bad night (5590)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.

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  (504): She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet. http://tfl.nu/znp0
  Replies (48) Good night (10436) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.

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  (973): she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery. http://tfl.nu/316x
  Replies (36) Good night (7478) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.

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  (816): After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship. http://tfl.nu/v7rc
  Replies (12) Good night (3373) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe

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  (570): All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe http://tfl.nu/7ueb
  Replies (4) Good night (757) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

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  (310): Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack. http://tfl.nu/hyp4
  Replies (7) Good night (625) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals

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  (408): In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals http://tfl.nu/45rk
  Replies (8) Good night (711) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?

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  (404): Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint? http://tfl.nu/u2ry
  Replies (4) Good night (1107) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.

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  (415): I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy. http://tfl.nu/udyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1374) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.

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  (352): a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window. http://tfl.nu/ast5
  Replies (10) Good night (1317) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  WTF DUDE?

  (323): View more from California

  Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this

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  (213): WTF DUDE? (323): Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this http://tfl.nu/ooar
  Replies (6) Good night (1136) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!

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  (440): I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?! http://tfl.nu/61is
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.

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  (513): So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time. http://tfl.nu/30oo
  Replies (1) Good night (221) Bad night (390)

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