I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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