i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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