i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.