She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
