it was like his penis was on wheels.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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