All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
