This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
