When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
