I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
