I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
