I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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