They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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