I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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