There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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