I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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