I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
