it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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