it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
