well you can't waste a boner
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
