so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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