roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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