ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
