I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
