i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
