You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
