She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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