In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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