My room smells like vodka and shame
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
