Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize