Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
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I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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