walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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