all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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