Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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