Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
