where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
