Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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