He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
