Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
