Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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