Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I think I just sharted jello shots
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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