He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
