I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize