I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
