I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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