Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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