I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
