I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
