i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Randomize
