Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
