Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize