Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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