its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
