Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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