The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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