dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
